Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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