I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
