She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
