that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
