East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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