I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My vagina is very pro this idea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
