you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
