I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
