we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
