Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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