I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
