she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
