i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize