He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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