Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
