But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
