What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I would ride that face into the sunset
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
