that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
