Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And then he peed in my hair
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