dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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