I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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