this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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