Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
