He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
