oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
