Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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