She's JV to your varsity
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
