Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently you make a good broom.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
