I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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