I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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