I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish life had little blips of pornography
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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