I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Are we still banned from the library?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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