U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
