No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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