best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
