Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
