How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
