haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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