I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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