I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
