I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
