Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
