he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
