on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
