my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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