so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
