Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
