Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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