i just google imaged poop.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
