Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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