just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
